Look at these fascinating dolls by artist Beth Robinson. I discovered them when reading the latest issue of Literal Latte.
Only part of me is glad that the Balloon Boy’s parents were found out. This is the part of me that wants a full investigation, including dissection if necessary, into Mayumi’s claims that she and her husband are descended from extraterrestrial aliens. And since my brother-in-law has been saying for a few years now that the aliens are living in deep underground chambers and tunnels dug through stone with a machine that melts stone, I am hoping the Heenes can shed light on the movements within the bowels of Mother Earth.
The other part of me that is not happy about the secret being revealed is the Exploitive Parent in me. My Exploitive Parent’s cover has been blown and she is so upset, she put my Inner Child in a cardboard box in the attic for hours.
My Exploitive Parent needs public attention to get where she wants to go with her writing career. My children often get in the way of getting to where I want to be by consuming what should be time to write with their flues and homework and play dates and softball games that need scorekeeping and their incessant demands to play with my Inner Child. Not to mention the ability children have to swallow whole in one swallow any and all disposable income faster than a blue whale swallows all of the tiny organisms in the ocean. Forget going to that writing conference and pitching my novel, my child needs fastpitch coaching lessons!
See, it would be so simple to exploit my child and bring myself some much needed public attention. For instance, I could put my nine year old on a subway train in the heart of a large inner city, say Detroit or New York, and hope that she found her way home. If my child made it home and wasn’t abducted, like that little girl was just the other day walking home from school with a group of other children, it would bring me instant fame and publishing success. I would secure a spot on Oprah, a regular column or maybe even two in Funny Times and other publications, and I could start my own organization to attract other Exploitive Parents to read my new book about how children should be independent so we parents can stop wasting all of our time and money on them. “Children are an inconvenience!” I could shout from the rooftops, “Let them find their own way home!”
My guess is the Heenes became involved in the Independent Child organization run by the now famous published author that wasn’t famous before, and came up with the idea of using their child to bring them the public attention they desperately needed to pitch their reality TV show idea. My Exploitive Parent thinks this was a brilliant idea with the balloon flying through the air and the newscasters full of anxiety thinking the Heenes were so stupid as to let their boy climb into that thing. Please! He was eating Doritoes in his bedroom and playing Legos.
And they almost pulled it off. Which brings me back to the anger I feel at being exposed. For this was my plan, we have a lot of woods in our back yard. I could call up the News station and say my daughter was out playing in the woods and she didn’t return when I rang the dinner bell. Dogs would be called out. My neighbors would come over and help search. Helicopters would fly overhead and police would show up in hordes. I could cry and scream and yell and since it would get dark quickly, being autumn, the flashlights would be streaming everywhere. Every time Wolf Blitzer spoke with me, I could say, “These are the very woods for the setting in my not-yet published novel – I should know them like the back of the book’s cover.”
Then after a couple of hours, I could call my daughter on her cell phone and have her walk out of our woods, already appropriately disheveled, burrs caught on her clothes, her eyes “red” from crying. She would do this for a couple of Webkinz. We could run into each other’s arms and then spend the rest of the night being on television and then get up early and spend the entire day on television and I could start an organization: Let Kids Enjoy Nature! Everyone would want to publish my novel and magazines would ask me to write weekly columns.
That is until the Heenes blew it for all of us Exploitive Parents. I think this is because they are part alien. Not quite smart enough to pull it off.
According to Terry L. Cross’s article “Native Americans and Juvenile Justice: A Hidden Tragedy” from 2008, there are 560 federally recognized American Indian tribes in the USA.
There are 4 million individuals within these tribes and half of them live on reservations. 42% of these tribally enrolled individuals are under the age of 19.
The suicide rate amongst American Indian youth is twice as high as white youth. It is the highest rate for any race. 60,000 American Indian children suffer abuse or neglect each year and 200,000 suffer serious “emotional disturbances”.
American Indian youth are over-represented in the Justice System and are 50% more likely to receive the harshest treatments while in our Justice System.
According to Wikipedia, one third of American Indians live in poverty.
I could locate no statistics on how many youth there are in the United States of Native American descent but not within a tribe. Youth whose ancestors were Native American. This is a touchy subject. All of the bad white apples who simply wanna-be of Native American descent, but aren’t really. This makes it difficult for those of who can actually prove our Native American descent through photographs, documents and/or DNA testing.
Needless to say, those of American Indian descent who live in the United States must be in the tens of thousands.
What’s the point of all of this?
It is time for assaults against the American Indian in children’s literature to end.
Recently, a published author whose picture book made it on the Oyate organization’s list of Not recommended books with Native themes asked me to read her yet-to-be published new book with Native themes.
This author is not Native American nor is she of Native descent.
Her new work is an invented Native American tale. She took American Indian tales that inspired her and kept about 25% of the tale or tales and made up the other 75%. She claims her best work is inspired by reading Native American tales.
So, even though Oyate and Professor Debbie Reese of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign have explained thoroughly to her how her first book is deeply offensive to the American Indian community, she wrote another book that will be deeply offensive to the American Indian community. And what is worse, harmful to American Indian youth.
And when American Indian youth are already suffering beyond what would ever be acceptable in a country of any kind of moral standards, this author wants to put out another book that will add to their suffering.
And she can’t hear the protests. She can’t hear them from the American Indian community and she cannot hear them from me. After my protests, she thinks the story only needs further revisions.
Do not write your own American Indian tale when you are not Native. Do not use American Indian tales in your work when you do not have permission to do so. Do not lift elements of Indian tales and re-use them in your own tale. American Indian tales are often sacred and have sacred images, symbols, themes and meanings.
Do not do this simply because it is wrong to do so. Respect the American Indian by respecting their beliefs.
It’s not okay to make money off the American Indian by publishing offensive children’s books you know will, first of all, get published more readily, and secondly, sell more readily, because of its Native theme.
It is far better to never be published than to publish a children’s book that is harmful to even one child let alone an entire population of children – we are talking about almost 2 million young people.
And we are talking about the offense it is to all of us who are descended of Native Americans.
My ghost story Teacher In The Woods took an honorable mention in the Genre Short Story category of the 78th annual Writer’s Digest Competition.
Thank you to the editors and judges for this encouragement. This story was something new for me, writing for adults and writing a ghost story.
Now, I will search for a home for my story.
Childhood is filled with torments.
”Clean up your room!”
“Do your homework!”
“Play with your brother!”
“No, you cannot have a Brite-Lite or any other toy with many small parts. No, I cannot explain why. Suffice it to say, those toys sound overwhelming.”
“No, you cannot have one of those spinning wheel toys to ride on the sidewalk or any other toy that makes noise — I need my peace and quiet.”
“Did you just walk through the living room? What have I told you about children being in the living room?”
“No, you cannot borrow my car. You must walk the 7/8ths of a mile to highschool in your high heels on National Honor Society induction day.”
“I know your father just moved out yesterday, but I expect you to be nice to my new boyfriend, Frank.”
“Did you touch my glass figurines? Because I’m pretty sure they’ve moved a fraction of a centimeter and you know how I feel about children touching my stuff.”
“Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my glass of wine.”
“No, we cannot have pork chops like Karen’s family does. Pigs have trichinosis.”
“You better eat that eggplant or you are never leaving this table. And same goes for that hard little hockey puck I like to call hamburgers.”
“Since you are in second grade now, you’re old enough to get up for school and get your own breakfast. Come in my bedroom before you leave for school and I’ll check your face and make sure it’s clean. I can tell if you’ve washed your face because your nose will be shiny.”
“You don’t want to be a writer, do you? That’s not a real job. What you really want to do is be a doctor or a lawyer.”
Friendships, relationships between people, how do we know when they are real and sustainable and will endure? Is there any point in continuing the work of investing into a relationship when that relationship could end at any moment and for unforeseen reasons?
What about forming relationships with people because you are associated with the same institution they are– such as a church or your child’s school? Should you expect that those relationships are real friendships? Are they?
I have found that they are not. I have found that once you leave that institution, no matter the circumstances, the relationship will end, either quickly or slowly, but it will end. That makes me think that the friendship was never really one in the first place. It was an illusion. A time waster. A fun sucker.
Recently, my brother’s girlfriend of many years decided to end their relationship. Over the last couple of years, she and I had begun to grow close. We communicated often on Facebook and sometimes by phone. We enjoyed each other’s company on our annual family reunion weekends. She was communicating often with my tween daughter. When she suddenly broke up with my brother, she cut us off with no forewarning. She de-Facebooked us with nary a word. She stopped speaking to us. Over. Done with you people. This caused me and my daughter a tremendous amount of grief. It was a huge and shocking loss. And while she apologized for her handling of the matter some time later, I understood our friendship had not been a real one — it was only an illusion. It was over. Time spent developing the relationship felt to me time utterly wasted.
Last week, my college-aged half-brother de-Facebooked his entire family on his deceased father’s side, including my grown sons. He cut them off his My Space also. He will not return my phone calls. He will not answer any emails. What is this supposed to mean? No forewarning. No explanation as to why or a complaint that something had happened. Nothing. Nada communicado. How fun, isn’t it?
One of my daughter’s friends will not return her phone calls. The girl invited her to church and when my daughter gathered the courage to call her back and accept the invitation two days later she had to leave a message on the girl’s mother’s cell phone. No one from that family will call her back. Has the friendship ended? Why did the girl invite her to church then?
She lost another friendship when she had a girl over for a sleepover and talked about the Twilight books. Unbeknowest to me and to my daughter, communication about Twilight is not allowed in this girl’s life. The mother did not tell me prior to the sleepover despite KNOWING that my daughter is a huge Twilight fan. The mother was angry at my daughter for talking about the books, for wanting to pretend about the story when all her daughter had told my daughter was that she didn’t like Twilight. Well, my daughter doesn’t like the Power Rangers but that does not mean someone cannot talk about them.
But the mother didn’t tell me this had happened until months later after I had to point blank ask her why the girl wasn’t calling my daughter back. She also came up with a story from even farther back when my daughter supposedly physically hurt her daughter but nothing was said both at the exact time it happened or right after. Nothing was even said to my daughter at the time by any adult on hand and my daughter doesn’t think she did hurt her. Really, why didn’t her daughter call her mother that night and ask to go home if she didn’t want to hear what my daughter supposedly kept on talking about? Why didn’t she come to me and tell me my daughter was breaking their family’s rule? Why didn’t the mother tell me about this rule before the sleep-over?
I think the mother needed an excuse to end the friendship because another girl in their group had ended her relationship with my daughter suddenly and with no real cause. Well, the girl haughtily claimed, my daughter talked about boys too much and she didn’t like her. Fine. My daughter didn’t really like her either– too much of a tomboy.
We felt so betrayed by this family, that we ended the relationship. Especially, since the mother implied our family lacked in character and now all visits between the girls had to be closely supervised. This was the fourth bad experience my daughter had with children from a particular group. Experiences that included bullying, cyber-bullying, refusing to speak to my daughter and refusing to tell anyone why, etc etc etc. What is up with people?
The older I get the more reclusive I get and the more I would rather spend time with the animals at the animal shelter. People are cutting each other off as if people themselves are expendable. As if people were devoid of inner emotions. Is this a result of the electronic media deluge in our lives? What is going on with the girls of today and what is being taught them about how to treat other girls?
How am I supposed to continue encouraging my daughter to reach out to other children and try and form friendships with them?
People don’t work their problems out anymore. If you bother them, cross the line, don’t meet up to their expectations, send too many applications on Facebook, don’t believe exactly what they believe — they’re done with you. It’s over. If you leave the church or your kid leaves the school — they’re done with you. It’s over.
I think this is why Emily Dickinson stopped receiving visitors and only spent time with a very few select people. She got sick and tired of having her heart broken, her trust betrayed, her efforts mean naught. When you love deeply, it hurts deeply to lose people that you have invested yourself in. People you have let in.
People unfamiliar to homeschooling often ask, “How do you do that? Isn’t it really hard? Doesn’t it take a lot of time? How do you know what to do?” I had just such a conversation yesterday picking up my online ordered library books for the beginning of this year’s school year.
I homeschooled my two boys until they went to 8th grade and 9th grade respectively — they were one grade apart. They spent one weird year in a local private Christian school during 5th/6th grades. The headmaster abruptly left the school and the new headmaster did not share his or my educational philosophies, not to mention my view of children. The defining moment for me was when the school asked me to have my youngest son hold himself back as he was too far advanced for his grade and was skewing the entire classroom statistics.
Every family homeschools for different reasons. I am homeschooling my daughter for very different reasons than when I homeschooled my sons. My daughter has been to school for preschool, 1st grade and some of 2nd grade, and 3rd and half of 4th grade. She has attended a charter school, our local elementary school and a private school. She has never had a consistently positive experience in a school.
And the bottom line for me is that it is my responsibility to see that my children are learning what it is they need to learn to grow up and be a functioning adult in our society. Functioning adults are educated to a certain standard and they are also emotionally well-adapted; they have good character, moral values, display appropriate behavior, and have a passion for making a contribution using their talents and abilities.
So, how does someone like me homeschool? Basically, it is not very difficult. If you can read, you can homeschool your children. You can purchase curriculum that will tell you exactly what to do and when and how and even what to say. This curriculum can even come on computer software that teaches your children for you and even grades their work.
But since one of the reasons I homeschool is to tailor the curriculum to my child in terms of my child’s personality, learning preferences and skill level in each subject, I pick and choose and put my own curriculum together. I do this with the help of the many books out there such as “What Every Sixth Grader Needs to Know”. These books tell you what your child should study.
I buy textbooks and workbooks that meet our educational goals for the year and I buy the teacher’s guide whenever I think I will need it. We also use our library extensively. We order online for delivery to our local branch, books to read about the subjects we are studying. Yesterday, I picked up books about Galileo, Michelangelo, da Vinci and the Renaissance and Reformation period, and books about Plants and the classic book Little Women. Some of these we will read together and some my daughter will read on her own and report on.
We do homeschool from 9am to 12noon that requires my interaction with her. After lunch, she will continue her “homework” for another 1.5 to 2 hours. In the evenings, she will attend dance classes, art classes, and some form of physical education. She will have chores to complete during the day, as will her parents, and she will help cook dinner. Eleven is a good age to really learn how to cook. Every child should be taught to cook, do laundry, basic sewing, and other tasks we need to do to live on our own.
During her evening activities, I will write. During the afternoon self-directed period, I will work in our home office. She has a desk in the office also, and I am available for assistance to her.
Socialization is provided through play dates, classes and clubs. Socialization with a wide range of children and adults can be provided this way and is a major benefit of homeschooling.
Homeschooling does not take as much time as schooling in an institution. The schooling period at home is concentrated, with little interruption and even with more than one child, the lesson can be covered far faster than trying to teach 25 children. And since homeschooling is usually tailored to the child, the child is fairly engaged. If your child is a quick learner you can also skip ahead in material. When my children complain the work is too easy, in math for example, I challenge them to pass the test at the end of the section with 100% accuracy and they can then completely skip the lessons leading to the test. Whatever section of the test they cannot do, we must return to that portion of the lessons until they can do it right.
What books children read can be tailored to the child’s reading skill.
But yes, sometimes homeschooling can feel very hard. Children are children. They will not want to do school that day. They will find the subject boring. The parent must be able to devote the time to the child and this can be very difficult at times. Parents get tired and they are busy and we all still need to earn a living.
Having had children homeschooled and schooled, I still cannot decide which is more work. Working all day when my child is in school and then spending all evening doing homework after evening activities I found hard work. Homeschooling all day and still getting my office work done and finding time for writing (and the energy) I find to be hard work.
The benefits of one must outweigh the other for your family. But if you can read, you can homeschool your children. We always assess every year for each child and make the decision based on their needs and well-being and the needs of our family. The local public high school worked out for my sons. They are both college students with many friends; they hold down jobs and one of them lives entirely on his own and has been since age 20.
Right now, it is the right option for our sixth grade daughter. Summer sure went fast though! Homeschool starts September 8th.
Would you like to be 17 again in your senior year of highschool, the doors to life open wide? What decisions did you make then that took your life in a direction you wish you hadn’t gone in?
In the movie 17 Again with Zac Efron and Matthew Perry, the character they play Mike has been in a state of lament for the last 20 years over his decision to marry his pregnant girlfriend rather than pursue a college basketball scholarship. Mike’s wife wants a divorce and his children want nothing to do with him. Things aren’t going well for Mike. He’s thinking he should have gone for the scholarship.
This movie delightfully surprised me. It is funny, charming and well-acted. It is a good movie to watch with your children after you have met with your friends from your highschool days.
I have my regrets from my young adult days. Things I should have done that I didn’t. Things I did that I shouldn’t have. Decisions I made that put me where I am now.
I shoulda shoulda shoulda. I went to the wrong college for me. I majored in the wrong profession for me. I didn’t go to graduate school right after college. I didn’t play sports in highschool when I really wanted to. I spent my senior year so stoned and drunk I hardly remember it and I spent most of my time with my boyfriend’s friends in another town. I missed out.
But all of that is what makes me, me. And I’m fine with that. Maybe you have to turn 40 to get to that place where you are okay with yourself. Besides it’s never too late to go after your dream.
And, I wouldn’t change anything that meant I wouldn’t have my family.
How about you? Any regrets?
We don’t head down to Detroit very often. We couldn’t afford Tigers baseball tickets this year, so the only times we’ve headed down there have been to see our eldest son’s art in the Student Exhibition at the College for Creative Studies and to visit the Detroit Institute of Arts.
We love going to Comerica Park and seeing the Tigers play. The baseball ferris wheel, the tiger carousel, the entire park is wonderfully decorated and designed for fun. This is usually what we do for my birthday. But, we bought a lot of tickets last year for a lot of money and the team just did not play well. Now, of course, that we don’t have tickets, they are in first place in the American League.
College for Creative Studies is one of the best art schools in the country and our eldest son Matt is a ceramics major there. CCS sits behind the Detroit Institute of Arts on Woodward in Detroit.
My father grew up in Detroit and my mother’s mother did also. We went down there all of the time as I was growing up, especially to shop at Hudson’s. I loved the escalator. We went to Hudson’s Thanksgiving Day Parade also. In high school, I went to a lot of theater productions at the Fisher Theater and concerts at the Fox and hockey games at Joe Louis.
It is emotionally taxing to drive down to Detroit nowadays. The abandonned buildings and closed businesses are increasing at an alarming rate and spreading north toward the suburbs.
We should start bulldozing these abandonned buildings and homes, clearing the land. There are huge warehouses sitting empty taking up valuable space and blotting the skyline. We need to rehabilitate the factory on Woodward where Henry Ford built his Model T’s and make it a museum.
After we have cleared all of this land, we need to begin planting. Green spaces where before there were gray, broken spaces of concrete and glass. Large spaces become parks and smaller spaces become gardens. Flower gardens. Vegetable gardens. Japanese gardens. English cottage gardens. Fruit orchards. Berry patches.
Vegetation cleans polluted air. Vegetation cools the air. Gardens please the senses. Gardens keep idle hands busy. Gardens provide nutrition. Children need contact with nature. Gardens attract birds and butterflies. Birds sing.
All of this beautification would be catching. Someone cares about how this neighborhood looks and so I will care also. I will clean up my own property. Everyone cares about my neighborhood and so I will care also about the people who live in this neighborhood. My life has value. Their lives have value.
What we see around us, the scenery and setting we live in, I believe has a profound impact on our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. I could not live amongst decay and neglect for long without feeling hopeless and depressed.
I think we have to care first in order for others to care. This is the basic tenant of the Christian faith that God loves us and so we love.
How would this greening of Detroit impact visitors to the city? How would it change the vision of the future the children develop if they grew up in a green Detroit? How would the involved effort of the entire community in planting these green spaces change the way the community interacts with each other?
